Warning Labels

The other day I was contemplating the fate of many women at the hands of a glass (or four) of good champagne and I came up with a brilliant idea. Well, maybe not brilliant but close enough.

Warning labels on champagne and other alcoholic beverages. I know, I get it...they already have warning labels. But they're for PREGNANT ladies!! We need labels to warn us that the consumption of alcohol could lead to pregnancy. 

Then I was reminded of another warning I got SUCH a kick out of when I was pregnant with Hunter. It's from a book called "Naptime is the New Happy Hour:"

Maybe prenatal vitamins should come with a warning label like other prescription medications. You know, the drugs that are meant to make you feel great but have a list of possible adverse reactions a mile long? The commercial for prenatals could show an extraordinarily loving family blissfully frolicking on the beach, while a soothing voice-over quickly rattles off the side effects, hoping you won't notice, "Having children may result in insomnia, hypersensitivity, fatigue, constant complaining, gingivitis, difficulty concentrating, irritability, premature graying, disinterest in sex, a filthy living room, uncontrollable urges to binge on salt and vinegar potato chips, mysterious weight gain, a tendency to forget your own phone number, an unhealthy obsession with germs, increased chance of financial ruin, confusion, and psychosis. Consult a doctor before you have children if you're edgy, interested in maintaining a career, or generally sane.