Hell of a Dad

When I left for my meditation retreat in England on Thursday Alexarya's stomach virus seemed to be getting a little better and I figured the worst was over so I let myself be convinced that it would be okay for me to go away, alone. I haven't been away from her for more than a day or two since she was born so the idea of spending 4 days away from her was a bit painful and scary, but I truly believe that my spiritual evolution is important for my mental health and I believe that the more time I invest in learning to cultivate inner peace the better a mother I will be. So, I went. I had planned on making lists up the waazoo for Justyn before I left detailing every single thing he might need to know about the eating, sleeping, and clothing habits of his little girl. I planned on pre-cooking her favorite things to eat and putting them in marked tupperware in the fridge, leaving lists of how much milk to give her, in which bottle, at which time. When to take her vitamins. Which sippy cups she liked which drinks in, which to bring to the playground vs in the car etc.. I think you get the point....Control, control control. Then she got sick and was unable to hold down any food or milk, she was living on pedialite which I had to beg her to drink one sip of every 20 minutes. She had a fever and was way too sick to go out and play..so there wasn't much I could pre-prepare for her to eat and there wasn't much listing I could do about her daily activities. I wasn't sure exactly what to do myself, so I just had to trust her recovery to Justyn and for whatever reason, this idea made me really nervous. I'm not sure when I got it in my head that you have to be a woman to be a nurturer. I guess a lot of my friend's with older kids love to joke about how incompetent their husbands are when it comes to caring for the kids. I guess I have been fed the message since i was a kid myself that there is no love like your mommy's and that, especially when you are sick, the only person in this world capable of making you feel better is your mom. And so this became my belief. What a shame.
So while I was in England I called daily and got the report. She still was hardly eating or drinking and was still laying around like a limp noodle. But, to my pleasant surprise, Justyn was really getting creative when it came to getting her to stay hydrated. He was giving her pops and he said he had little waters with straws in them and sippy cups all around the house. He was getting up several times a night to give her a bottle of pedialte and in the morning he would even bring her to bed with him.
To be honest, it blew me away. I mean, I know Justyn is a very capable guy, and a great dad, but this seemed to go above and beyond in my book. He really changed my view. This dad is just as good at nurturing as this mom. ;-) cool. I'm not usually this happy about being proven wrong but in this case I really am glad.
So ladies, if your husband ever offers to watch the little one so you can get away and have some time to yourself, don't fear. Give him a chance. He may just surprise you. So, take advantage of the opportunity and go. It will be a learning experience for everyone.
The irony of it all was that I was looking forward to having Justyn see how hard it is to be a stay home mom so he could appreciate what I do a little more, and in the end I ended up appreciating him a little more instead.